New Power

So I watched that Dragon Force video on Youtube that Patrick told me to. It inspired me to invent a new at-will power that I think Dean should let us all have. It's called Flying Whammy Bar of Destruction.

Flying Whammy Bar of Destruction
At-Will - Martial, Badass
Minor Action, Ranged attack
Requirement: You must be dual-wielding an axe and a beer.
Target: One evil-doer or hippie
Attack: Reflex vs. AC
Hit: 2d10 + Dexterity modifier damage. The target is now dominated by the mystical control that you exert through your embedded whammy bar.
Secondary Target: Every enemy within visual or auditory range.
Secondary Attack: Charisma vs. Will
Hit: 1d10 + Charisma modifier sonic damage. If the target survives, it must make a saving throw or be so overcome with awe that it immediately begins sucking your cock.
Special: After making your primary and secondary attacks, the friction that occurs from your fingers exceeding the speed of light results in spontaneous combustion that wreathes you in flame. Any enemy that makes a melee attack against you takes 1d10 fire damage.
Miss: You get to take another drink of beer as a free action.

Here are a few problems I have with this power.

Badass keyword is nowhere in the PHB. I'll just assume you meant force.

What is the range?

Evil-doer or hippie is redundant.

Instead of modifier, shouldn't it be score? Or even all scored combined? I don't want to make it overpowered or anything, but it just seems right.

Other than that, it's okay. For a noob.

Kyden wrote:

Badass keyword is nowhere in the PHB. I'll just assume you meant force.

Good catch, I did mean force. In this context it kinda means both. I'll change it if the others agree.

Kyden wrote:

What is the range?

Duh. It's a ranged attack, and the power is dependent on your guitar virtuosity, which is based on the power--or force, if you will--of your playing. So the range of your ranged attack is literally the power of your ATTACK!!!

Kyden wrote:

Evil-doer or hippie is redundant.

That's a good point. Should it be "one hippie or terrorist," instead? Who else is the natural enemy of metal music?

Kyden wrote:

Instead of modifier, shouldn't it be score? Or even all scored combined?

Hm. I think it definitely needs to be based on Charisma, in order to reflect the incredible impact of our gorgeous locks of hair flying in the wind, as well as the majestic profile that we cut while drinking our beers. But I like the idea of it being the Charisma score, rather than just the modifier, added to damage. It seems more balanced that way.

I'll have to see what the rest of the folks think before I make any changes.

Zac covered the bases, I think. Oh, and I have nothing against hippies, so they should be immune to this attack unless they have scabies.

Amnon wrote:

Oh, and I have nothing against hippies

Get the fuck out of my house.

Don't say you have nothing against hippies until you spend a night in Flagstaff, and attend one of the bars up there with white, dredded rich kids playing raggae

I can't even think of anything else to say to this post, but that I laughed my fucking ass off

Dude, I guarantee I've spent more time with hippies than everyone in this forum combined. I don't know how aware you were of this at the time, but that's pretty much the crowd we hung with during my high school days, plus a year or two on either side of those high school years. I've hitch hiked hundreds of miles to see all kinds of hippie shows and I've spend god knows how many hours driving around in VW mini-buses, thick with pot smoke, and with hippies I'd never seen before or since. I've spent nights in parks with dozens of hippies and played in drum circles from dusk until dawn. For years I made my own, tie-dyed cloths, jewelry, and hair wraps, and listened exclusively to Grateful Dead, Phish, and other miscellaneous hippish groups. I walked around all over town barefoot, carrying a guitar, strumming folk songs, while people danced around me wielding pixie sticks to the rhythm of the music I made. I've been there and done that, and I personally have nothing (much) against hippies, except of course that I feel like that was a lifetime ago and hope like hell all the other hippies I hung with have either grown up or died happily while they were stoned out of their minds.

Yeah I remember you and michael and keith and all those people when you guys were in high school were total hippies, I mean who can forget Joe who actually followed the greatful dead around for a year or so. I probably was biased because you were my brothers cool older friends at the time but I guess I only have a problem with militant hippies, I guess that doesn't make sense so Ill say aggressive hippies. ACtually that doesn't make sense either, anyway I'm talking about the ones who are vegetarian and will slap a hamburger out of your hand while walking through campus because "meat is murder" (I have to give credit to Kerry here since this happened to him no me) or the ones that are generally just annoying screaming about everything they hate that is wrong with the world and they hate you for embodying it. I don't know, I guess there are all different kinds of people that make up a certain group... some are cool and some are not. Also, I don't think you can call yourself a true hippie until you do/hang out with people who drop acid and make their own tie dye shirts! haha. I remember Michael, or you, or keith told me that years later, I don't know why I never though of that before, lol.

In my opinion, ture hippies are true passivists, in that they aren't agressive about anything at all, unless it is simply to get away from aggression as fast as possible. In a way, being a hippy like that is almost the same as being useless from a social standpoint. The hippies I hung with actually tried as hard as they could to get away from, or at worst simply ignore the fact that there was anything in the world other than the Grateful Dead, whimsical notions, tie-dyed clothes, acid, and weed. The people you are referring to are activists, or just angry ass people trying to hide their aggression behind some misunderstood "greater cause". Typically, activists are extreme in one way or another, which MIGHT not be a bad thing unless they try to impose their extremity upon other people, in which case I'd be more likely to punch the person in the face that do whatever they are asking, no demanding, me I do. No one tells me how to live, damn it!

Amnon wrote:

Dude, I guarantee I've spent more time with hippies than everyone in this forum combined.[etc.]

You want to compare hippie experience? Fine, I'll bust out the big guns:

I live in Eugene, Oregon.

I win. The end.

Amnon wrote:

In a way, being a hippy like that is almost the same as being useless from a social standpoint.

And that, in a nutshell, is why hippies deserve our hatred.

Now if you wish to continue this debate, we can start an "I hate hippies" thread, but I think we should really be focusing on the new at-will power that Dean is letting us have.

Grill of Gleaming was better.

Dean wrote:

Grill of Gleaming was better.

Huh?

I believe hippies and perhaps anyone on weed or in fact anyone who's heart rate is less than 120 beats per second would be a good target for this attack. Anyone who is not as afuckingmazing as we are would be damaged by this power and that is everyone and everything so really target should read "All (excluding members of the epic, pre-ordained masters of all things awesome, group Dragon Force)"

I've got you all beat on hippie experiences. When I lived outside of San Francisco, I used go into the city weekly and explore. When you're on the cross streets of Haight and Ashbury, you see what true hippies look like. These fucking hippies are OG from the 60's, and are just old and pathetic looking. They probably see all the modernized people walking past them everyday and say "Bro we fucked up."

Kyden wrote:

I've got you all beat on hippie experiences. When I lived outside of San Francisco, I used go into the city weekly and explore. When you're on the cross streets of Haight and Ashbury, you see what true hippies look like. These fucking hippies are OG from the 60's, and are just old and pathetic looking. They probably see all the modernized people walking past them everyday and say "Bro we fucked up."

Lol....I think he just won this thread. Haight and Ashbury is like the mecca or spawning pit of hippies.

BTW I thought this was appropriate at this juncture:



If that don't work
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?ml_video=103818